Anywhere you want to be.

What’s home to you?  Is it a feeling of safety?  A place to lay your head, something as simple as a cot or a bed?  

I have been pondering that question for a while now as I’ve lived a fairly nomadic life over the last few years.   Chasing my dreams and fighting my fears.

My home is now in Hawaii, I made the move recently.   I let go of a lot of things I realized were not necessities.  My whole life fits into a couple suitcases and a backpack.  To be honest, I still feel like I have too much stuff.  

I’m here now living simply and moment to moment trying to get my feet under me.  My home is a quaint little cabin in the woods.  I have access to the basic necessities, plumbing and electricity, fresh food is in abundance here.   The market is ripe with local love.

I’m learning to live with less and I find it’s the best way to reduce stress.  When your water is catchment and you have to watch every cent,  you become more mindful of energy spent.  That said there’s still a lot to learn as I navigate these twists and turns.

Lucky for me Hawaii life moves at a slower pace and I’ve given up on the rat race.  I’m only in competition with myself, to be a better person than I was yesterday, live life in a more mindful way, checking in with my soul, correcting my course before I go to far astray.  Loving the land Malama ‘Aina, lending a hand.

I know Life is what you make of it.  I Will make the most of it.  Gratitude for every moment.  Own it.  Grow in grace at my own pace. 

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Standing Rock

​I recently returned from Standing rock where my friend Brandon and I joined thousands of water protectors gathered on the North Dakota plains..

People from all over the world standing up and speaking out against the atrocities committed by our  society,  these corrupt corporations and governments unrelenting and unrepentant in their pursuit of power at the expense of this planet and everything on and in it. 

With every day came shouts of “Mni wiconi” or”Water is life”  sacred words that represent a cause as vital to all us as the blood in our veins.

What did standing rock teach me? 

The awesome power of prayer and community, that our battles are won when we look for mutual harmony and see each other’s divinity,  sovereignty for humanity; every moment is a prayer that gets you from here to there.   

I don’t think I’ll ever be the same,  so many things about this experience as a whole have changed my perceptions and assumptions about the world and have forced me to look at my life realistically, hypothetically, moment to moment…

So many things that used to mean so much to me, 

Now seem trite and petty,

Something catalyzed and magnified a growing restlessness inside that refuses to hide.

Somethings gotta give,

It’s imperative that we change our narrative,

How do we choose to live, 

What have we got to give? 

All or nothing, 

A little bit of something

Is everything

If it’s the right thing.

Love is the offering…

The song we sing, 

Love is the offering. 

Kali

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, looking back on the journey.   

In this moment there is no movement, just a stillness while I release this illness…  

Outdated ways of thinking,  that threaten my ship with sinking; acidic thoughts about the what-if’s and what-not’s.

Kali taught me about calm tranquility, allow myself to let go and be.
When I allow myself to let go and float, it’s much easier to move the boat. 
                                                                                                           

Adventure to Be

I’ve been sleeping on a cot at my mom’s house for the last three months.

Tying up loose ends, the strings of my heart on the mend.

I’ve given away the majority of my possessions.

And I’m going to give more, carrying around that baggage is a chore!

There’s beauty in simplicity, I gotta get to the core of me.

So, I’m gonna hit the road…go on adventures and be bold!

Life is too short, to live complacently in a box approved by society.

Life is a journey, more complex than a to b.

Unless you’re allowed to be.

Yourself.

 

Original art by Rebecca Ra, Prints available!
Original art by Rebecca Ra, Prints available!

Solace

​I’m learning to live and try to flow and share when inspiration strikes me in whatever form that may be.  
I’m learning to look at the patterns I see

And the ways they can affect me.
Trying to remember im the wave and the ocean when i start to get sick from all the motion.
Going within Seeking solace in the stillness that exists in the space of now.  

Third side of the coin

I don’t like going through life this way
Questioning every little thing the others say.
Trying hard to see the third side of the coin

Are these tales just in my head, or is my head in my tail?
Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m not but, these demons still whisper in my ear and this fire is getting hot.

Is this a self-imposed prison I’m living in?
I know we’re all guilty of sin but, the punishment doesn’t seem to fit the crime and here I am doing time.

I wish sometimes I could turn off my mind and find some sort of solace or silence.

I keep repeating these things in my head, wondering  if I’m better off dead.
I feel trapped here and bitter because, though I’d like to leave, I’m not a quitter.
And I don’t want to hurt anyone but, in this damned darkness, it’s hard to see the sun.

And then an angel spoke to me,

Relax and forget duality, just love with consistency.
The only enemies are fear and apathy,
tricky illusions, cause us to forget our unity.
The fact that,
if I hurt you,
I’m just hurting me.
If I hate you,
I’m just hating me.

When you turn ME around upside down, it is WE that is found.
Remember love prevails and surrounds.
Have no doubt, it’s within, there’s no without.

I thanked that messenger who gave me wise words from her.

I’ll find strength in my pain.
I’ll  dance in the rain of my tears,
Wash it away and it all becomes clear,
there is nothing to fear.

Yin and Yang dance together, Gravity when they find themselves in each other.  The drop is the ocean and the ocean is the drop. Polarity is hilarity. Oil on canvas.  SOLD, prints available.
Yin and Yang dance together, Gravity when they find themselves in each other. The drop is the ocean and the ocean is the drop. Polarity is hilarity. Oil on canvas. SOLD, prints available.

Pondering duality

​Think of a dog chasing its tail trying to catch itself.  

I don’t think source or god or the universe or whatever you want to call it, that spirit or energy which permeates all things, you, me, we…

I don’t think it has a gender,  I think that like us, it is trying to understand itself perhaps and so it has to define itself.  

But how do you define that which is innately, infinitely everything and no thing?

Without giving the things meaning?

That is synchronicity. 

Simplicity.

All of these iterations, all these little bubbles of evolution and experience are dependent on each other for their existence and meaning.  

If you are the sum of your experience and others form a meaningful part of that experience we really are like drops in an ocean.

All of these things make me, we.

From the ego perspective I can’t see the ocean of vast mystery, all the beauty and synchronicity surrounding me.  

Original art by Rebecca Ra.